Multiple Sclerosis Yes, this exhausting, over worked, and annoying, tired that we suffer from. Some days its just a underline feeling of tired, one that you could just take a short nap and then waking rested and recharged, or other days it’s like a nonstop daunting feeling that your cased in cement and unable to move or even breath. These days are usually after you forget to limit yourself and the response your body has to that mistake. This mistake can cause you a numbered amount of down days, those days you just hate life. Your body flairs and every fiber of your body hurts. Today I feel this way, because I didn’t listen to my body tell me to slow down! It yelled at me and I ignored it. I go days feeling amazing even forgetting that I myself have Multiple Sclerosis, to have that S.O.B run up and smack me in the face. It is one of the worst feelings I have ever had to come to terms with and one I still fight now and then. I grew up in a small farming town, to two amazing hard working parents that instilled in me the work ethic of an Ox, and then one day your working hard, highly active, and doing life well, this shows up and you have to constantly swim up stream every second your awake. You can’t do something today because you did something yesterday, now you must stay down and be out. So many people assume that we can easily just get up and fight through it or take a nap! These people don’t truly understand, this pain, this tired, this inner emotional pain we have. I hate telling people no and explaining that I can’t because my body wont physically doesn’t allow me to move. It's not a cop-out on the work or the excuse of lazy. I seriously thought the same thing years ago before I had my first major flair and after I still tried to tell myself that I can fight the pain, tired, and illness by just overcoming it. Boy was I wrong, and now I watch others judge me because I limp out of nowhere, or cancel plans, or say I’m tired even after I just wake up, for them to say “oh I get that way” “just get over it”, “your will be OK, just try this…..”. When all we want is for someone to listen and understand that we honestly can’t get moving, over it, or to take a “magic pill” to feel better. This pain might not be visible to you or others but to us we feel it. It is here, it is horrible and all we want is people not to judge others when we say we can’t and make us feel worthless, because we can’t continue a happy charade to just please your idea of what we are. Offer to have a make up on a girl’s date, or activity. Offer to help do the dishes, bring dinner, or just sit with us when we can.
We are the chronically Ill and we are chronically tired! Don't forget to follow me. I will also start selling my artwork stickers in a week or so including my sleepy sloth! Who wouldn't want this cute sloth anyways!
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Nikki
Multiple Sclerosis warrior, who is a striving artist and a enthusiastic world traveler. Archives
April 2020
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